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Pop Tate's

My favorite palace without a doubt in Riverdale is Pop Tate's Chok'lit Shoppe, which is the only place I'll lower myself to eating cupcakes in this crappy era.

Pop Tates in Better Times!
Mr. Hunt can be seen reading the paper.

Randolph Hunt is Pop Tate's best customer as well as his most intoxicated. There is a little placque over the toilet that says, "Randolph Hunt Memorial Toilet" even though Mr. Hunt is by no means deceased. In fact he is writing this, right now, this new journalism. He is editing this as well, and later will pay himself just about enough to go out an buy a takeout Chinese restaurant container of Heineken, or maybe
even Guinness, if he's feeling bold. He has been known to run up a tab at Smith's Bar nearly, and try to get out of town visiting friends to pay for it. Randolph Hunt's story has inconsistencies to say the least. His life is melting like an old-fashioned ice cream parlor atmospheric device.

He really really believes that losing the store would be horrible, so please don't tell him that it has closed. What will go in the site where Pop's used to be? Forever 69, or 420 For Beginners, or the Formula 409 Outlet store, it doesn't matter. Maybe even Domino Sugar the Broadway musical or the new Crown Confectionery and Crackhouse. If so, meet Randolph at the Chocolate and Pita Shop on Merrimack Street in Tuscarora Country or on the last remaining parkbench on Winter Street in Lower Manhattan.

Review of the new Redhook IKEA store

First of all it was hard to find, due to not having ANY sign, or even a street address number. It's right in the center of Redhook—which forms, with Riverdale, the "Tri-Cities"—so you think it would be easy, but if you've ever BEEN to the center of Redhook you'll know what I mean. There are no signs or numbers because nearly everything that's there has been exactly the same for 1000 years. The only thing older than the shops are the 1000 year old trees. Once you do find it, you're shocked by the poor lighting and ventilation. I kind of liked that, though, it's so anti-retail. The further you get towards the back of the store the darker it gets too, until you notice the the front is lit pretty much by the light coming in the open screen door. The back is lit mostly by candles. The whole place isn't any bigger than your average Starbucks. And they have coffee brewing, for free, you just have to wash out your cup when you leave. Also, you can sit around on some shipping crates and eat 1000 year old eggs if you feel like it. I asked for the Lingonberries, the reason for my visit, and was told maybe next week. In the meantime would I like to buy a used Jenga game with blood stains? Or a picture puzzle of Charles Martin Smith and a wolf, which I suspected has several missing pieces. I like the way the clerk keeps a pencil behind his ear and ties your purchases with brown paper and string. I noticed an old pickle barrel and was about to remove the heavy marble lid when an old-timer stopped me, saying, "Whatever you do, don't remove that lid, for GOD'S SAKE!" So I didn't. I'll give this place seven and a half stars, on a scale of 10. Sorry, no address is available. No phone. Open every day, just about.

I am my own worst enemy

It's hard to explain...

It's hard to explain what I mean, how I feel. I know that I am better off staying here, in my home town, where I have a good job and a happy if predictable life. But I just can't help but feel restless, and think there must be something better out there. I mean, just the simple life of washing dishes at the Cedar Falls Dinette and living in a cheap room above Acme General Store. Having three or four people I talk to regularly, just to say hi, my only connection to humanity....

It's hard to explain what I mean, how I feel. I know that I am better off staying here, in my home town, where I have a good job and a happy if predictable life. But I just can't help but feel restless, and think there must be something better out there. I mean, just the simple life of washing dishes at the Cedar Falls Dinette and living in a cheap room above Acme General Store. Having three or four people I talk to regularly, just to say hi, my only connection to humanity....

It's hard to explain what I mean, how I feel. I know that I am better off staying here, in my home town, where I have a good job and a happy if predictable life. But I just can't help but feel restless, and think there must be something better out there. I mean, just the simple life of washing dishes at the Cedar Falls Dinette and living in a cheap room above Acme General Store. Having three or four people I talk to regularly, just to say hi, my only connection to humanity....

It's hard to explain what I mean, how I feel. I know that I am better off staying here, in my home town, where I have a good job and a happy if predictable life. But I just can't help but feel restless, and think there must be something better out there. I mean, just the simple life of washing dishes at the Cedar Falls Dinette and living in a cheap room above Acme General Store. Having three or four people I talk to regularly, just to say hi, my only connection to humanity....

It's hard to explain what I mean, how I feel. I know that I am better off staying here, in my home town, where I have a good job and a happy if predictable life. But I just can't help but feel restless, and think there must be something better out there. I mean, just the simple life of washing dishes at the Cedar Falls Dinette and living in a cheap room above Acme General Store. Having three or four people I talk to regularly, just to say hi, my only connection to humanity....

It's hard to explain what I mean, how I feel. I know that I am better off staying here, in my home town, where I have a good job and a happy if predictable life. But I just can't help but feel restless, and think there must be something better out there. I mean, just the simple life of washing dishes at the Cedar Falls Dinette and living in a cheap room above Acme General Store. Having three or four people I talk to regularly, just to say hi, my only connection to humanity....

It's hard to explain what I mean, how I feel. I know that I am better off staying here, in my home town, where I have a good job and a happy if predictable life. But I just can't help but feel restless, and think there must be something better out there. I mean, just the simple life of washing dishes at the Cedar Falls Dinette and living in a cheap room above Acme General Store. Having three or four people I talk to regularly, just to say hi, my only connection to humanity....

It's hard to explain what I mean, how I feel. I know that I am better off staying here, in my home town, where I have a good job and a happy if predictable life. But I just can't help but feel restless, and think there must be something better out there. I mean, just the simple life of washing dishes at the Cedar Falls Dinette and living in a cheap room above Acme General Store. Having three or four people I talk to regularly, just to say hi, my only connection to humanity....

Alcohol IS a higher power!

That bit of homespun philosophy came to my while I was... you guessed it, DRUNK!

I thought it was clever at the time, but then later searched to see if anyone else had ever thought of that before me. According to Gogol (my favorite Ukrainian search engine) about 729,00 people thought of it before I did. Hey, that's not so bad. It's less than a million, right? I mean, if you entered the nicest person in the world contest and made the top million, that would be something to write home about!

Drunken Interneting

Or I don't know what you would call it! I went to an internet party last night-- it was at this gamer's hangout in downtown Riverdale-- this place called Skullf**kerz Arena-- as if those two ASTERICKS can possibley stand for ANYTHING other then "C K"-- which incidently stands of CALVIN KLEIN, which I'm wearing right now, thouhg vomit soaked as they are, as well as about a GALLON of CK1 to try to cover of the vomit smell.

By the way, did you see those new WEIGHT WATCHER'S ads? The one that say, like, "DIET" is a bad word, so they spell it D**T-- so I'm riding on the Riverdale Rockview Hts. bus, like a half hour, the whole time thinking all the workds that could be like DICKED and DISTORT-- use your imanigation!

ANYWAY, at the stupid Wii freakazoid party, they have this bootleged version of Grand Theft Auto IV that eveyone is drooling over (excpt me) and I'm pretty much bored, so I go out to the RIverdale Lightnign shop and pick up a bottle of MD 20/20-- though it turns out at the party they have this half gallon of Smirnov some geek stole from his rich parents or sometihng. So I take to mixing the MADDOG and the vodka half and half, and since it's not so sickly sweet I drink like twice as much, and of course the next thing you know I'm waking up on the ratty skullfuc*rz carpet!

So then I didnt even realize until I got hope that I had been ONLINE basically and those assholes got iinto my email and sent all these messages to my ex-WIFE Lisa telling her how I want get back with her and then how I want to-- what I want to do sexually, you know, I'm not even going to go into it. She'll never talk to me now EVER again I'm sure. And THEN they went into this BLOG and made all these changes that I don't know how to change back since I didn't set this thing up in the first place it was Lisa because she wanted me to use it right after we got divorced to talk about my feelings so I wouldn't e calling her so much. So anyway, that's why this thing looks so fucked up now with all the stupid slideshows and shit. Does anyone know how to make that shit go away? I would NEVER pick these colors either (though I have to say they're better than the ones LIsa picked. )

So that's what I get I guess for being a loser 38 year old haning out with teenage gamers and drinking WAY too much. A stupid looking blog, a woman who won't talk to me ever again, and a pair of too tight white jeans with purple stains all down the front where I hurled!

Top Secret Home Base

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techinical difficulties

What have they done to my header?

I got this email Back!

On behalf of President Bush, thank you for your correspondence.

We appreciate hearing your views and welcome your suggestions.

Due to the large volume of e-mail received, the White House cannot
respond to every message.

Thank you again for taking the time to write.




Whoops! I thought that I was writing to REGGIE Bush!

Double Header

We're hosting a PUBLIC FLOGGING of the guy who invented the car alarm ALONG WITH the guy who invented the double CD jewel case!

Bring rotten vegetables, rocks, and imflamables!

Self Portrait

I thought you assholes might like to see who you're dealing with! This is me, in a self-portrait took by--well.... ME. Don't call me pineapple head. The last one who called me pineapple head ended up on the wrong side of a stir-fry!

Drunk Again!

I wanted to start writing in this thing this weekend, but I've spent the entire weekend drunk!

Please Read This First!

This is the private journal of Randolph A. Hunt. The A stands for Excellent. If you are reading this by mistake, you will rot and burn in Hell, but if it is truly a mistake, then maybe you can be forgiven. But really, you should not be reading it. TURN BACK NOW!

Randy Hunt